24
by x-Wabisuke-x
Summary: 24 People, 12 from one world, 12 from an entirely different world, all forced to live under the same roof for 24 days, and stay in a room with one other person each of those days. SLASH, slight Het, generally a crackfic.
1. Day 1,1

**A/N- This is my first crack fic :O. No, I wasn't actually on crack when I wrote it, but for me, it's kind of out there. Not only do I rarely write fanfiction, but I've never, ever written a crossover before.**

**This story isn't going to make complete sense on all accounts. Some things that don't match up with the anime/mangas will come up here and there. Feel free to let me know if you think it's something that could easily be fixed, otherwise please bare with it. I tweak some things for my own enjoyment.**

**This story will contain very few explicid sex scenes, but a lot of fowl language and some less explicid ones. 90% will be slash. There are only two females in the whole thing, after all ^0^. If you don't know yet, this is a Bleach/Naruto crossover.**

Aizen was bored. Now that he'd satisfied the desires his extreme god-complex had called for, there wasn't much left to do. He'd grown tired of trying to rule long ago, and messing with the Shinigami and Espada was starting to take its toll as well. With the amount of power he'd come by over the thousands of years since he'd conquered the world, he could do just about anything he wanted. But that was the problem.

"Maybe ya just need to think outside the box a little more." Gin had suggested after Aizen had voiced his woes. It was a good idea, but Aizen had already felt like he'd come up with every possible way to entertain himself. From influencing most of the former Espada to sexually harass Kurosaki Ichigo to making civil war break out in Sei Rei Tei, there was nothing left to do.

"Maybe go see a movie?" Stark had uninterestedly suggested on the verge of falling asleep in his cereal.

"A movie?" Aizen just snickered. "I don't think anyone makes those anymore." Things had been drastically different since he'd come into power, and entertainment in the real world had become scarce.

"Make your own, then." Stark grumbled as he stood up. "I'm going back to bed." He waved Aizen off as he left the room. Aizen stared after him, wide eyed.

"Something click?" Gin had appeared out of nowhere, holding a light bulb over Aizen's head. Aizen snickered and leaned back in his seat, smirking. Now he had an idea.

-------------

"Whoa, you been remodeling?" Gin walked into the main hall where Zommari had directed him on Aizen's behalf. The room remained normal, for the most part. It was square, four solid walls, no windows, as usual. The difference was that there was no furniture aside from one chair at the far end where Aizen sat, and the floor was made entirely of glass.

"This is my new theater." Aizen said, eyes fixed on the floor. Through the glass you could see one large center room with a giant round table that looked to be able to sit at least two-dozen people. Surrounding the larger room were twelve smaller rooms, three on each side, some with one bed, others with two. Each one also had a lamp.

"What's this?" Gin asked, crossing his arms, though looking somewhat impressed.

"A movie." Aizen replied.

"Mmm…" Gin nodded. "Looks pretty boring. And nothing's moving."

"Just wait." Aizen said, and started to raise one hand on which the tips of his forefinger and thumb were pressed together. There was a short pause while Gin regarded Aizen's mischievous smirk, and then Aizen snapped his fingers.

-----

He was falling. He didn't really understand why or how, but he could feel himself falling. It wasn't unsettling, though. He'd been asleep when it begun to happen and it was actually somewhat relaxing. It was probably a dream, he thought, so he made up his mind to just keep his eyes shut and let it play out.

The faint sound of a distressed yell met his ears, and his eyebrows furrowed, but he stayed curled. The fearful yell got louder and louder and then suddenly ended with a thump. He only had seconds to wonder what the hell was going on behind his eyelids before he smacked against a hard wood floor.

"Ow!" He sat up immediately, holding a hand on his forehead where it had thudded against the floor. "What the hell!" He grumbled.

"What the hell yourself!" An unfamiliar male voice came from somewhere in the room, and Naruto opened his eyes wide to look around. It was bright, and his eyes hadn't adjusted to the light yet, but he could make out a tall dark-looking figure with… carrots on his head. His stomach growled.

"You're the one who's just sleeping all peacefully while falling through random space!" The carrot-head shouted. In a few moments, Naruto's eyes were able to focus and it turned out that the figure was just a normal person about his age. And the carrots were actually hair.

Naruto just stared, wide-eyed. "Who are you?" He asked dumbly.

The carrot head just scoffed, cursed, and sat down on the bed that was placed in the corner of the room. "Why does weird stuff like this always happen?" He grumbled to himself.

"Weird stuff?" Naruto pushed himself to his feet and started to look around. "What is this place?" He asked.

"Who knows." Ichigo said. "But I've had bad experiences lately that have to do with random rooms, random guys, and only one bed." He scoffed.

"Huh?" Naruto was confused. Ichigo just regarded him questionably for a moment, before he stood up and walked over to the blond kid.

"Anyway, I don't know who you are or where you came from, but I'm Kurosaki Ichigo." He stuck out a hand.

Naruto took the hand "Naruto…" then paused, snickering. He used his other hand and covered his mouth, trying to hide a smile.

Ichigo frowned. "What?" He glared.

"You…" Naruto laughed a little. "You're a strawberry that looks like carrot."

Ichigo just stood completely still in disbelief as the blond spikey-headed kid cracked up laughing. Suddenly, Naruto's stomach started to growl and he was quickly distracted from the hilarious joke.

"Damn." He pouted. "All this talk of food is making me hungry."

Ichigo was about to sic Zangetsu on him, but a muffled voice rang out and they both froze to stay silent. The voice was quickly followed by loud banging on the wall to their right, and then the voice was heard again.

"Hello! Is someone over there!" Whoever it was sounded panicked.

"There's someone in another room there." Naruto announced, pointing. Ichigo was a little bit further ahead.

"Yumichika, is that you?" He asked, having immediately recognized the slightly high, almost pompus sounding distress voice.

"Ichigo?" Yumichika shouted, and banged some more. "Help me! I'm stuck in this room with some really ugly guy! There's no door! I can't get out!" He started banging harder and faster before another voice broke out.

"Hey, that isn't very nice!" Another muffled voice sounded, and Naruto hurried to the wall to press his ear against it.

"Fuzzy brows! Is that you?" He shouted.

"Naruto!" Lee replied, and hurried over to the wall.

"Yick! Don't come near me!" Both heard Yumichika screech, followed by a loud thud.

"Fuzzy brows! Are you okay?" Naruto asked, banging on the wall himself now. There was a pause before Lee replied.

"I'm fine…" He said, hesitating. "But this guy kind of kid a flip and hit his head on the wall. Now he's unconscious."

Ichigo's eye twitched and he looked down in shame.

"Do you know what's going on?" Naruto asked.

"No. One minute I was out for some late-night training, and the next I was falling into this room. I fell for almost a full minute before I finally ended up here."

"Me too." Naruto nodded.

"Do you have a roommate, Naruto?" Lee asked.

"Um, yeah." Naruto looked to Ichigo.

"I'm Kurosaki Ichigo." Ichigo called through the wall.

"Nice to meet you, I'm Rock Lee." Lee called back. Naruto nodded, satisfied with their introduction.

"Fuzzy brows!" He said. "Are there any doors or windows on your side?"

"No, there's nothing but the walls, two beds, and a lamp."

_Why do they get two beds?_ Ichigo scoffed.

"But I think it should be easy enough to break these walls down to get out." Lee said.

"Good thinking!" Naruto shouted. "First let's break this one down so we can talk!"

"Okay, but let me drag this guy out of the way first." There was a pause during which Ichigo and Naruto just looked at each other, both still wondering what the hell was going on.

"All right, I moved him." Lee shouted.

"Okay, stand back." Naruto said. "Kage bunshin Juts-"

"Getsuga Tenshou!" A loud shout came from behind him, and Naruto looked back just in time to dive away from a huge surge of blue power that was flying toward the wall. He covered his head and ended up crouched in the corner as the blast cleared, leaving behind an entirely undamaged wall.

"Damn it." Ichigo said. "Just like I thought." He walked over to the wall and put his hand against it. It wasn't even warm or splintered.

"Naruto! What was that?" Lee was back by the wall.

Naruto stood slowly, and moved over to the wall near the corner, keeping his distance from Ichigo, who was now holding some kind of huge sword.

"This guy's got some insanely strong Jutsu." Naruto said cautiously to Lee. "At least it looked that way, but it didn't damage the wall at all. I think it almost killed me though."

"I see." Lee nodded. "My turn-"

"Hey!" A fourth voice came from the opposite end of the room. "What the hell was that noise!"

Ichigo's eyes widened. "That voice…"

"Hey! Ichigo! I know you're in there!" The wall-banging now started on the other end. "I can feel you're reiatsu like crazy."

"Reiatsu? Naruto whispered to himself.

"Grimmjow?" Ichigo's eyes widened and he slowly moved over to the other wall.

"Hey! Long time no see." Grimmjow said, sounding much less than thrilled, and kicked the wall. "What the hell do you think this is?"

"It has Aizen written all over it." Ichigo replied once he got close.

"My thoughts exactly." Grimmjow scoffed. "Damn that bitch." He kicked the wall again.

"Grimmjow, who's in the room with you?"

"That's the crazy thing!" Grimmjow shouted back. "This really annoying guy wouldn't shut the fuck up so I cut his head off and he's still whining!"

Ichigo just cocked and eyebrow at that. "Are you sure?"

"Yes I'm fucking sure!"

"Hey, you!" Naruto interrupted. Ichigo looked back to him in askance. "What do you know about this place?" He demanded.

Ichigo sighed. "Not very much, but there's only one person I know of that's likely to have-,"

"Kurosaki Ichigo." A loud voice boomed from nowhere. "Please don't reveal too much to our guests." It seemed like it was coming from above, but all he could see was a plain white ceiling,.

"Aizen!" Ichigo shouted. "Is this one of your stupid games?"

Aizen just chuckled. There was a long pause during which Grimmjow was ready to Cero the ceiling before the voice sounded again. "Listen, everyone." He began. "You are in a remote area, a dimension from which there is absolutely no escape. There are twenty-four of you total, and a total of thirteen rooms, including the room where you will all meet to dine in the morning and evening. There are two of you in each room, and I guarantee that you do not know the person you're sharing with."

"Damn it." Naruto scoffed. "What the hell is the point of this?"

"You'll be staying here for a total of 24 days for my own enjoyment. At the end of each day, you will get a new roommate and room number. Perhaps you'll stay with someone you don't know, someone you like, or someone you absolutely despise. As Grimmjow has already discovered, killing is not against the rules."

"Tch." Grimmjow rolled his eyes.

"Ha! You think I'm dead!" The head shouted.

"I assure you that the walls are indestructible. I'm sure those of you who know me can account for the credibility of that. Doors will only appear when I allow them to, and they will only lead in and out of the dining room, or on the rare occasion, to the room of another couple if I feel the need."

"Today's rooming settlement is as follows:

Grimmjow Jaegarjaque and Hidan

Hatake Kakashi and Hirako Shinji

Shikamaru Nara and Coyote Stark

Rock Lee and Yumichika Ayasegawa

Kuchiki Byakuya and Uchiha Sasuke

Kira Izuru and Aburame Shino

Uzumaki Naruto and Kurosaki Ichigo

Zaraki Kenpachi and Sai

Kabuto Yakushi and Madarame Ikkaku

Urahara Kisuke and Orochimaru

Abarai Renji and Temari

Kuchilki Rukia and Iruka Umino.

Enjoy your holiday."

For a few moments, an entire dimension was completely silent.

**A/N- Well, I think that's a good place to end the first chapter. The last bit is mainly to reveal what characters are there ;D.**

**Since this is a random 'crackfic' and I'm willing to be lenient, I'm open to adding more characters if you like the plot but some of your favorites are left out. Just review or send me a message with the suggestion and I'll see what I can do. Most of the characters are chosen due to A) Me liking them, B) Me liking them paired with someone I like, or C) I think they'd be funny if locked in a room together.**

**Reviews are nice.**


	2. Day 1,2

Hirako Shinji was sitting on the twin-sized bed on one side of the room, and had been since he was lucky enough to fall there upon his arrival. His current roommate whom, based on Aizen's information, was called Hatake Kakashi, wasn't so lucky. He ended up falling straight down and landing on his face. Luckily, his face was almost entirely covered by either a mask or some weird headband that was pulled down over his left eye. So any bruises that might appear would be hidden.

After that had happened he'd stood up, waved to Shinji with a smile (or at least, his eyes made it look like a smile), and went to sit lay down on the other bed. Shinji just snickered at him, but found it a little strange that he wasn't more stirred up. Even Shinji was a laid back person and he couldn't imagine being so calm about suddenly falling into a room with some guy. It almost seemed like this guy knew exactly what was going on. He didn't even listen to Aizen's speech, just sat there reading some weird book.

Somewhere along the way, he's started to make strange noises from his side of the room. Shinji ignored it at first, figuring that weird is as weird does. But after a while they got more intense and could easily be made out as giggles, and not very manly ones at that. He eyed the other suspiciously, leaning forward slowly. Everytime Kakashi giggled, Shinji felt the need to lean closer. His hands tightly gripped the edge of the bed, and he ended up leaning so far that he was barely holding himself on the edge. Finally, Kakashi let out a loud, excessively perverted sounding giggle of excitement, and Shinji fell off onto his knees with a thud. Kakashi just continued to read.

"Hey." Shinji finally spoke up.

"Hm?" Kakashi turned to look at him.

"What book is that?" Shinji asked as he pushed himself back to his feet and started to walk toward Kakashi's bed. Kakashi obediently turned the book in Shinji's direction so he could see the pages when he got closer and leaned over the bed to see. In just a few lines, Shinji's eyes had widened considerably, and he was sporting a frown that looked ideal to go with the build up of drool. Kakashi smirked as Shinji became engrossed with the book, not surprised in the least.

"Would you cut that out! You're making it cold!" Renji shouted, waving his arms at the punk looking chick with the big fan that she saw fit to wave around. It would have been on thing if it was just an ordinary fan, but all thought the blasts hadn't hit him, it looked a lot more powerful than just any old force of wind.

"Calm down." Temari said. "I'm trying to find a way out."

"Didn't you hear Aizen?" Renji continued to wave his arms for emphasis. "There's no way out of here! We just have to wait out the 24 days!"

Temari scoffed and closed her fan. She wasn't exactly giving in, but she was tired for the time being and it didn't seem to be working. "You sure are quick to give up."

"Under normal circumstances, no. But apparently, you don't know Aizen that well." Renji scoffed.

"That well?" Temari snorted. "I don't know him at all." She sat down on the single bed and set the fan down next to her.

"You don't know him? How the hell do you not know Aizen? He's king of the world!"

"What the hell are you talking about?"

Renji stood still and stared at her for a few moments. "You're insanely oblivious." He concluded.

"And you're delusional." Temari snickered. "Oh well, I'm sure Shikamaru can come up with something. Do you know anything about the Coyote guy he's rooming with right now?"

"Stark?" Renji scratched his head. "He's really strong but really lazy. He's probably just sleeping and will be most of the time. Technically he's an enemy but I don't think he'll bug us if we leave him alone." Past experiences said that Stark wasn't one to start attacking people unless ordered to, and Renji thought his strength could actually be an asset in this situation if he was willing to be awake for a little while.

Temari nodded, satisfied.

"Hey, what about Rukia? She's a friend of mine." Renji said "He said she was with some... Amino or something?"

"I don't know. I don't think I know the guy. That probably means he's not dangerous, though." Temari said.

Renji sighed. "All right."

Temari laid back and fixed her eyes on the cieling. Hopefully she'd get put with someone stronger and more motivated than this guy next time around, and then she'd find a way out after talking to Shikamaru at dinner. That guy always had something up his sleeve. She had to wonder what was going to happen when certain enemies happened to clash with each other, though. She was sure that not all of them would get out of this alive.

"Nice to meet you, I'm Sai."

Kenpachi was just a bit freaked out by the pale, overly-happy weirdo standing against the wall across from him. "Kenpachi." He said, and looked away. He wished he had Yachiru with him more than anything at the moment. According to Aizen's information, she wasn't even there. Then again, also according to the same information, Kurosaki Ichigo was there and eventually they'd have to share a room. But then arose the problem of the five, possibly six others he'd named that would most likely try to put their hands on Ichigo. It all depended on who got roomed with him first. Unless of course, Kenpachi took him over the table when they all met for dinner.

He started to snicker to himself.

"What's funny?" Sai asked.

"Nothing." Kenpachi chuckled and then abruptly stopped. "Hey, are you strong?"

"Somewhat." Sai replied, frowning.

Kenpachi sighed. "You look like a whimp."

Sai said nothing.

"Doesn't matter though, there's no room to fight here anyway." He glared at the walls of the tiny room.

"That's true." Sai said, simply for the sake of attempted agreement. Apparently he'd be meeting a lot of new people soon, so it was a good thing he'd read up pretty well before leaving. Still, the fact that Uchiha Sasuke was somewhere in this building and that he and Naruto would meet at dinner was a little unsettling for more reasons than one. He didn't really know what to think about all of it, but figured the best approach was to just take it as it came. That's what he always did, and he was still alive after all.

"Uchiha Sasuke?" The man's voice was very low, Sasuke noted. The first word that came to his mind to describe it was dignified, or less respectfully, arrogant. He was tall and had the appearance of a somewhat reserved power. Something about him made Sasuke think he must have pretty strong, whoever he was.

"Yeah." Sasuke replied. "Do you know anything about this?" He asked.

"Aizen Sousuke used to be an associate of mine." The man replied. "But he gained an enormous amount of power and is now as untouchable as a God. He likes to play games with those of us who used to challenge him." He looked at Sasuke. "It doesn't seem like we're from the same world. This must be his idea of entertainment."

Sasuke scoffed. Though at least he was a little more aware of the situation. Unless this guy was lying, it was a relief to know that it wasn't one of his enemies pulling some trick. What was his name? Byakuya?

"Who is Kurosaki Ichigo?" Sasuke asked rather idly.

"The one person who was almost able to stand up to Aizen." Byakuya said. "Why?"

"Nothing." Sasuke shrugged. "He's currently in a room with someone I used to know, is all."

"He's strong, but he's never caused unnecessary harm before." Byakuya assured. "You can trust him with your friend."

Sasuke just snickered, not bothering to correct the mistake. "You know, I was thinking though...." He sat up. "A lot of the people here are rivals from where I'm from. In order to make this game entertaining, your Aizen would need the help of someone on my side, wouldn't he?"

"It seems he did the same for us." Byakuya replied, nodding. "Can you think of anyone? Knowing Aizen, there's a good chance it'd have to be someone somewhat powerful and that knows a bit about those that are here."

"I can think of a few." The first that came to mind were the Fifth Hokage, Danzou, or Madara... but none of them really seemed the type to care for games or risk peoples lives for entertainment. "...but there's no way to be sure."

"Well, we are talking about Aizen Sousuke." Byakuya said. "Nothing is guaranteed with him. For all we know he could have just gained the knowledge from desire to have it alone."

Sasuke snickered. "Sounds like a scary guy."

Shikamaru sat down on the bed. "Man, this is troublesome." His roommate, Stark or whatever his name was, was leaned up against a wall in the corner, and yawned. He looked tired, but apparently so much that he couldn't be bothered to walk six feet to the bed.

"Hey, can you get off that? I want to sleep." Stark chimed. It was the first time he'd spoke despite the fact that they'd been there for the past 20 minutes.

"Tough luck, there's only one bed." Shikamaru said. "And I sure as hell am not laying on the floor."

"Ugh. How annoying." Stark pushed himself away from the wall and sauntered over to collapse on the other side bed. His face hit the pillow and he was suddenly quite content with this situation.

"I'm Stark." He lifted his head to look at the kid that was laying next to him. "I work for Aizen." He pointed at the cieling and grinned slightly.

"The hell!" Shikamaru glared at him. "You're part of this?"

"No." Stark rolled over. "This is just one of his stupid games. Technically I had no idea this was going to happen. Then again... I think it was my idea?" He tapped his knuckle to his chin.

Shikamaru groaned. "So who the hell is Aizen, anyway?"

"Mmm. Depends on who you ask. Basically he's just a really powerful guy that is so powerful he acts like a god now. Most people say he's evil." Stark shrugged. "Whatever, though. They say lots of things are evil."

"Great." Shikamaru sighed. "So you're a bad guy."

"Mhmm." Stark rolled over. "G'night."

"One more thing." Shikamaru said, and Stark just grunted. "Who's Grimmjow Jaegarjaque?"

"He's an Espada, like me. He's not as powerful though. He's only a six." Stark snickered. "Well, technically there are no Espada anymore, but..." He trailed off. Shikamaru's eyes narrowed, unable to stop from wondering how the murderer of his beloved teacher was doing with this so-called 'Sixth Espada.' "Who's the most powerful one you know?" He asked.

Stark sighed thoughtfully. "Hmm... Kuchiki, Zaraki, Kurosaki Ichigo... or... Me..." He shrugged. "Probably Kurosaki. He almost stopped Aizen. Anyway, I'm going to sleep now. Don't bug me anymore."

Shikamaru scoffed. "Likewise."

"Okay!" Naruto shouted enthusiastically. "For starters, I think we should establish who our friends are up against at the moment!"

Ichigo sighed. "Didn't you hear him? We're going to meet everyone at dinner anyway." He really just wanted to pull a Stark and just try to sleep for the next 24 days. There was a certain problem that would arise the moment he was roomed with a certain someone that he simply did not want to face or think about.

"But aren't you worried that someone you know might be locked in a room with someone evil? I heard at least three evil names that he announced. Some of your friends might be in trouble!"

"My friends can take care of themselves." Ichigo shrugged. Something told him that his side of this whole crossover joke was more powerful than the Sushii's, which was what he'd decided to call Naruto now that he was being called Strawberry and Carrot off and on.

"Well, fine." Naruto stuck up his nose. "But that Kisuke guy better watch out especially! Orochimaru is bad news."

Ichigo snickered. "I'm sure I don't have to worry about Urahara."

"Well then, tell me who that... uh..." Naruto scratched his head, unable to remember the name of the person that was with Sasuke. "Zaraki Kenpachi." He settled for Sai.

Ichigo felt his face heat up and he pursed his lips. Zaraki Kenpachi was the last thing he wanted to think about at the moment. Of all the people that had started pursuing him since Aizen played one of his older tricks, Kenpachi had been the most persistent. Ichigo was stronger than all of them including Kenpachi, that he was perfectly confident of, but it was difficult to go all out against someone who wasn't trying to kill him. "He's not a problem." Ichigo forced himself to speak, though he didn't sound convincing. "He's obsessed with fighting but he's not going to go challenging anyone in a room this small."

"Okay." Naruto sighed. "This is really annoying though. Did you hear him say anything about bathrooms or showers?"

Ichigo scoffed. "I don't think he's that messed up, There's probably a bathroom and a shower somewhere in this place. For now we just have to wait 'til he opens the doors."

"Damn." Naruto started shifting his wait from foot to foot.

Ichigo glared. "You have to go?"

Naruto felt his face heat up and then hung his head in shame. "Yes."

"Damn it. You'd better hold it-"

"Hey! Look behind you!" Naruto was suddenly pointing in his direction. "Look! It's moving!"

Ichigo turned on his heal and looked back at the wall behind him. Sure enough, the wall was warping and twisting in one area. It didn't take long before a door appeared there. A small smile of relief came over Ichigo, though he didn't know what the hell he had to be relieved about. He was just sick of sitting around in the same room.

"Bathroom!" Naruto shouted with glee and ran toward the door. "Thanks Mr. Aizen!" He shouted just as he grabbed hold of the door knob and yanked it open. The only thing in the room was a large wooden table surrounded by chairs. Naruto hung his head once again, this time wanting to cry.

"He said we'd get to eat soon." Ichigo said as he appeared beside Naruto. "I don't see any food though." He scanned the room, and happened to spot Rukia emerging from another door on the perpendicular wall. "Rukia!" He shouted, and hurried over to her.

"Ichigo!" Upon recognizing him, she rushed in his direction as well. "Glad you're okay. I take it your roommate's no problem?"

Ichigo looked back at Naruto, who was still drowning in his own pity. "Yeah, he's okay. He can probably tell us which of these guys we have to watch out for."

"Hey! Ichigo, Rukia!" Renji was next to join them. "Damn, my roommate was scary." He scoffed scratched the back of his neck. Ichigo leaned to the right and peaked over his shoulder to see an averagely build blond girl carrying a fan coming out of his room.

Ichigo snickered. "Yeah." He said. "Really scary." He tried not to laugh.

"Hey!" Renji shouted, waving his arms for emphasis. "She messes with wind like Kariya! He was super strong!"

"Yeah, yeah. I kicked his ass." Ichigo waved him off, still smirking in snark mode. By this time most of the others had exited their rooms as well.

Renji calmed down a bit. "On a more serious note, Ichigo. What are you going to do about..."

"Ichigo!" A huge, scratchy voice boomed above all others. "Glad to see you're here!" Kenpachi cackled. "Funny how Aizen's little pranks always end up with something positive." He was waving from across the room.

Ichigo's eye twitched "Positive for who...?"

"Shut up. You're loud and annoying."

Kenpachi's eyes narrowed and he looked back to see where the voice had come from. His eyes fell upon a somewhat short kid with greyish hair and round glasses, leaning against the wall not far back.

"Stay out of this, four-eyes." Kenpachi grunted. "And quit trying to look cool by leaning on the wall like that. I'll kick your ass!" He pointed his Zanpakto in Kabuto's direction.

"Kabuto. Try not to involve yourself with barbarians." Orochimaru approached from the left side and walked over.

"Sorry." Kabuto replied, and straightened his glasses. "I've been irritable since this thing began. I couldn't take much more stupidity after my roommate."

"Hey! I fucking heard that!" Ikkaku sprung into action, giving up his former quest of searching for Yumichika.

"Hey, Ikkaku." Kenpachi said. "How about we kill these two first?"

Orochimaru smirked. "Love to see you try."

"Agh!" Ichigo erupted from his place next to Rukia and practically shot across the room to get between them. "Not right now!" He shouted.

"Get out of the way, Ichigo! You can have your turn later!" Kenpachi shouted, and half-heartedly swung his nameless zanpakto in Kabuto's direction. Ichigo blocked it with a suddenly unsheathed Zangetsu, and shoved Kenpachi back.

"Move-"

"Shut up!" Ichigo said, using the loudest voice he could muster. The whole room suddenly stopped, and everyone was facing his direction in askance. He took a deep breath. "Okay. I'm sure we all have someone we'd like to kill right now. But this place is sure as hell not going to turn into a battle field. It's too small, and the weaker ones could get caught in the crossfire."

Kenpachi frowned in realization that he was right.

"Not to mention." A voice from the far side of the room. "I don't think it's the best idea to start this whole thing off with a bunch of dead bodies." All eyes turned to Shikamaru. "Just suggesting, though."

"Speaking of dead bodies." Grimmjow spoke up. "Can someone help me with this?" He held up Hidan's head by his hair.

"My body! My body!" Hidan was chanting. "I told you to put me back on my mother fucking body, dickhead."

"Shut up!" Grimmjow shook him around a bit. "I don't want to do that because I don't feel like having you attack me." He snuffed.

"I won't! Just put me back together! It hurts!" Hidan started to whine. Shikamaru released a sigh and walked over to the pair... or more, the 1 and 1 eighth of a pair. Before Hidan even noticed his presence, Shikamaru took him by the hair and tugged him out of Grimmjow's grasp.

"Ow! You bitch!" Hidan turned his attention to Shikamaru. "Ha! You're that pansy from the exchange place!" Then he frowned. "You blew me to pieces and buried me in a fucking hole!" He started to flail as much as a detached head possibly could. Shikamaru just frowned at him with disgust and stepped past Grimmjow to enter the room where Hidan's body lie. Hidan continued to yell and throw a fit until Shikamaru pushed his top half up right, and set his head back onto his neck where it had been severed.

"Finally!" Hidan scoffed, then toppled to the floor, his head barely attached. "I wish Kakuzu were here!" He whined. Shikamaru simply left the room, shutting the door behind him. There was a long pause during which most people just stared at him. Many of them had been silently staring at the scene before that moment.

"Anyway." Shikamaru said, sighing. "We should start by getting to know each other." His eyes moved directly to Ichigo. "What's your name?" He asked.

Ichigo paused for a moment, still a little unstable after what he'd just witnessed. "Kurosaki Ichigo..." He managed.

"Nara Shikamaru." Shikamaru replied. So began another long, silent pause.

"I'm Temari." Someone else finally spoke up, and her eyes were also on Ichigo. Ichigo just nodded to her in reply. "Hey, Shikamaru." She turned her attention to him and crossed the room. "I'm waiting for some brilliant escape plan."

Shikamaru had nothing but a slight snort for an answer.

"I'm 90% sure that there's no way out of here." Urahara finally spoke up. "The other 10% depends on the possibility that Aizen set up some difficult obstacle to which the reward is freedom just to entertain him more."

"And who the hell are you?" Temari barked.

Urahara waved her off and hid behind his fan. "Don't be so mean." He said. "I have a fan too." Temari's eyes just narrowed. "I'm Urahara Kisuke." He decided to answer. "Ichigo, Renji, Rukia, Captain Byakuya, Captain Kenpachi, Ikkaku, Yumichika, Grimmjow, Izuru..." He pointed to each person as he said their name.

Naruto stepped forward a moment later. "Uzumaki Naruto." He introduced. "That's Rock Lee, Sai, Temari, Shikamaru, Orochimaru, Kabuto, Iruka, Shino, the head belonged to Hidan, and... Uchiha Sasuke." He finished, mimicking the way Urahara had done it. Then he crossed his arms. "Kabuto, Orochimaru, Hidan and..." He looked to Sasuke, who's eyes met his immediately. "...Sasuke are bad news." Sasuke's narrowed.

"Naruto." Sai spoke up. "Wasn't Kakashi's name mentioned before?"

Naruto glanced around the room but didn't see his former teacher anywhere. "He's not out here?"

"Come to think of it, Stark and that Vizard aren't here either." Renji said.

"Stark's probably sleeping." Grimmjow chimed in. "We can count on him to be doing that most of the time."

"What about Shinji and that Kakashi guy, then?" Ichigo stepped up. "They have to be here..." Most that knew the pair that were missing started glancing around, some fearing the worst.

A/N- Dunalun! What an intense mystery! …Okay, maybe not. It's pretty obvious what they're doing. I just felt the overly dirty minds of some of you go off .

**I think I've listed the characters enough times for you to have a pretty good idea of who's there XD. I'm still open to suggestions for more, just so ya knows.**


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